Is this a chemical imbalance issue?

Chemical imbalance, No, mental illness, possibly. Have you ever went to a therapist for this? My first thought was to tell you to join the Mariens, but with your thought process and there information, that could be deadly. LOL. Seriously though, visit your family Dr, and get a referral to a therapist. In the meantime, your Dr may order some blood test to check for any diseases or chemical imbalances. I wish you all the luck, and at the same time I thank you for not acting on your violent thoughts.